I have always been one of those people who finds healing within music...
Friday, November 11, 2011
It's Official
I am a defect, a loser, a failure, an inadequate complete and utter MORON! Every single person in the class above, and below me in high school *other than my bestie* are married or engaged! It is official as of twenty minutes ago. The last one just got engaged to a guy she has been dating for four months, and known for two years. While I am excited and happy for her, I can't help but feel like a complete and utter failure as a woman right now. I have been with the same guy for NINE years and he is not even able to see us together in the future! You know my horoscope said I would be on the verge of, in their words: A) walking away and washing your hands of the whole thing or B) asking them to just elope... Though I must say I am heavily considering A, then jumping on to a dating site and marrying the first guy who asks me...... I really HATE myself right now.... just when there is no real alcohol in the house! What else can I say? I am a loser, plain and simple.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
NHMRC : TwoOfUs.Org : Heart Chart
It would be interesting to see what my other half's results look like, but getting him to take this would be difficult, so I can only guess. ^_^
NHMRC : TwoOfUs.Org : Heart Chart
NHMRC : TwoOfUs.Org : Heart Chart
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Heaven must be missing a Mocha!
OMG! Starbucks Salted Caramel Mocha is... ummm, what would be a word that would do it justice? Fantabulousiaciate? Yes I just made that up...
So who the f-ing hell mows their lawn at 8 am on a Saturday morning? Probably the same jackass that has a rooster that crows at 4:30 in the morning. Mother-F-er. Just saying. One good thing about the stupid foul, I got AMAZING shots of the sun rising at the beach. I just can't wait to develop them on Wednesday. Soooo excited. Okay, so I am guessing am up now, so I am gonna go see if I can get in trouble, since my bf has made it abundantly clear that I am no longer allowed near him or his "friend"... Long story, and I just can't find enough energy to care too much anymore than the occasional pissed off thought. Yes, I am pissed, does it show? Took long enough, had no true emotion on it for 24 hours.
So who the f-ing hell mows their lawn at 8 am on a Saturday morning? Probably the same jackass that has a rooster that crows at 4:30 in the morning. Mother-F-er. Just saying. One good thing about the stupid foul, I got AMAZING shots of the sun rising at the beach. I just can't wait to develop them on Wednesday. Soooo excited. Okay, so I am guessing am up now, so I am gonna go see if I can get in trouble, since my bf has made it abundantly clear that I am no longer allowed near him or his "friend"... Long story, and I just can't find enough energy to care too much anymore than the occasional pissed off thought. Yes, I am pissed, does it show? Took long enough, had no true emotion on it for 24 hours.
Early morning smell
Something to be said about the way morning, early morning, smells. Invigorating and fresh. I have sometimes wished I was a morning person when I smell this, but alas, I love my sleep too much, so ATM all I can think about is killing that damn rooster that my neighbor has acquired! Though it does not seem to bother my furry bedmate, she is just wee zing away completely oblivious. Not fair! Gonna have a headache from dehydration, kinda already do, but could not drink much last night, seeing as I am on a serious calorie restricted diet, one that is working!. Already lost an average weight of seven pounds... Goodnight, or good morning, whichever.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Is this the last straw that broke that poor camels back?
This is how my week started, and ended...
So tired of being treated like the dumb blonde, and that what I think, feel, or believe is inconsequential. What is even more disappointing to me is that these people, one in particular, are prime examples of what a double standard lifestyle looks like. One of them stated to me repeatedly about how they hated people like that, then the one time an issue in my life came up, not only did they overstep their bounds with regard to my life, but they never owned it. Despite the fact when a similar situation between them and I happened, I owned it and apologized. Oh well, I mean, not a big loss in the scheme of things, however, being constantly lied to left and right by the ONE person I should be able to trust completely, is another. After last nights incident, I think I am truly and completely sick of it. I am beyond disappointed in this case, I am not even sure what this feeling is. The nauseated sick feeling I normally get followed by anger is conspicuously gone as well. Right now it is just... nothing. A complete blank plate where my emotions come through physically. As for my emotional area in my brain, chaos. Complete and utter. Think it may just be best if I ignore this whole thing for a while, and pretend it and the perpetrator just don't exist. For now, I am heading out! Gonna go have some fun, and take up some people from school up on there offer. Just gonna go get lost for the weekend. Then I will get lost in my school work, around people of course, there are tons of places that offer free wifi now which is awesomeness in and off itself. I am also going to be changing the blog guys, so all of my subscribers, shall be getting an email to the new address, all the other lurkers hurry up and subscribe! It can be done secretly, I would be the only one who knows (all of my subscribers are secret anyways, lol).
So tired of being treated like the dumb blonde, and that what I think, feel, or believe is inconsequential. What is even more disappointing to me is that these people, one in particular, are prime examples of what a double standard lifestyle looks like. One of them stated to me repeatedly about how they hated people like that, then the one time an issue in my life came up, not only did they overstep their bounds with regard to my life, but they never owned it. Despite the fact when a similar situation between them and I happened, I owned it and apologized. Oh well, I mean, not a big loss in the scheme of things, however, being constantly lied to left and right by the ONE person I should be able to trust completely, is another. After last nights incident, I think I am truly and completely sick of it. I am beyond disappointed in this case, I am not even sure what this feeling is. The nauseated sick feeling I normally get followed by anger is conspicuously gone as well. Right now it is just... nothing. A complete blank plate where my emotions come through physically. As for my emotional area in my brain, chaos. Complete and utter. Think it may just be best if I ignore this whole thing for a while, and pretend it and the perpetrator just don't exist. For now, I am heading out! Gonna go have some fun, and take up some people from school up on there offer. Just gonna go get lost for the weekend. Then I will get lost in my school work, around people of course, there are tons of places that offer free wifi now which is awesomeness in and off itself. I am also going to be changing the blog guys, so all of my subscribers, shall be getting an email to the new address, all the other lurkers hurry up and subscribe! It can be done secretly, I would be the only one who knows (all of my subscribers are secret anyways, lol).
Insufferable suffering? How about comfortably numb?
Torn between "White Liar" and "Kerosene" The latter won out, just cause I don't have a white lie(s) to hide, though atm I wish I had TEN. Garbage in and garbage out...
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Breaking Benjamin - I Will Not Bow
My theme song for right now... I will bend, but I will not bow or break!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Beatiful Things
Something to be said about Andain's voice. Also one of those songs that makes you really think clearer, good thing too with this homework overload and a test looming over my head making me feel like I need to watch out for the guillotine. Yes, dramatic a bit, I know, but feel it nonetheless. Back to work, with another very dreary day outside.
For a much better version check out Beautiful Things [Gabriel & Dresden Unplugged Mix] version, WAY BETTER.
For a much better version check out Beautiful Things [Gabriel & Dresden Unplugged Mix] version, WAY BETTER.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
TH3 1MPR3551V3 HUMAN M1ND
If you can read this you have strong anylisys skills:
TH15 M3554G3
53RV35 TO PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5
C4N D0 4M4Z1NG TH1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 TH1NG5! 1N TH3
B3G1NN1NG 1T WA5 H4RD BUT NOW,
ON TH15 LIN3 YOUR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 1T
4UT0M4T1C4LLY W1TH OUT 3V3N
TH1NK1NG 4B0UT 1T, B3 PROUD!
0NLY C3RT41N P30PL3
C4N R3AD TH15.
It was a bit difficult for me in the beginning, but my brain seemed to pick it up very quickly after line two. Pretty nifty huh? (Who says nifty anymore other than me?) *smiles*
TH15 M3554G3
53RV35 TO PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5
C4N D0 4M4Z1NG TH1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 TH1NG5! 1N TH3
B3G1NN1NG 1T WA5 H4RD BUT NOW,
ON TH15 LIN3 YOUR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 1T
4UT0M4T1C4LLY W1TH OUT 3V3N
TH1NK1NG 4B0UT 1T, B3 PROUD!
0NLY C3RT41N P30PL3
C4N R3AD TH15.
It was a bit difficult for me in the beginning, but my brain seemed to pick it up very quickly after line two. Pretty nifty huh? (Who says nifty anymore other than me?) *smiles*
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Annoying Information Age
In the modern super fast information age, it spooked me today. Well really just now. After just sending a probably ill advised email (another posting perhaps another time) I got a very interesting amount of adds popping up the right hand side of my email server's inbox. One such read "Is He Lying To You" for Spokeo.com Another said "What Affair Is He/She Hidding?" for the Phsychicline.com.... It seems to me that this information is just being leaked left and right now days. Freaking me out to be honest. I knew FB was a bit overeaching, but it seems to be that Google is moving into the lead! Oh dear. I need to get ready for bed, LONG day tomorrow, so I will post later, I just needed to post this before I forgot.
Ja ne!
Ja ne!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Blast from the past.
So while I was doing math homework, I got bored (it tends to happen) so I went through some old pictures, and found this gem! The reason this is a gem is that not only am I showing a bit of cleavage, but arms as well!!! I hated doing that in high school. I forgot how scrawny I used to be, and I kinda almost wish I was still... or at least in the middle of my weight now and then...would be nice! Is it me or do I look hunched over though? Oh well, I have a ton of HW and studying to do, so I will post later, I SWEAR!!! >_<
 |
| Homecoming 2000 |
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Delerium - Innocente (Falling In Love) [Official Music Video]
Love this remix... You can never go wrong with Delerium.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Corinne Bailey Rae - Put Your Records On
I am gonna try something different this time!!! Yes I am! Starting with the three birdies on my window, for they be chirping the truth!
Christina Perri - Tragedy (Official Lyric Video)
The worst thing right now is not the lies that have been told to me (hiding and omitting are lies too), it is more the lies I have told myself...
Auto Correct Blunders
After a very sucky weekend spending the night venting on the phone with a good friend we spent the rest of the evening laughing our a$$e$ off at this site: http://damnyouautocorrect.com/page/2/
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Her Kind
An amazing poem I found, realy struck a cord with me....
I have gone out, a possessed witch,
haunting the black air, braver at night;
dreaming evil, I have done my hitch
over the plain houses, light by light:
lonely thing, twelve fingered, out of mind.
A woman like that is not a woman, quite.
I have been her kind.
I have found the warm caves in the woods,
filled them with skillets, carvings, shelves,
closets, silks, innumerable goods;
fixed the suppers for the worms and the elves:
whining, rearranging the disaligned.
A woman like that is misunderstood.
I have been her kind.
I have ridden in your cart, driver,
waved my nude arms at villages going by,
learning the last bright routes, survivor
where your flames still bite my thigh
and my ribs crack where your wheels wind.
A woman like that is not ashamed to die.
I have been her kind.
—Anne Sexton
I have gone out, a possessed witch,
haunting the black air, braver at night;
dreaming evil, I have done my hitch
over the plain houses, light by light:
lonely thing, twelve fingered, out of mind.
A woman like that is not a woman, quite.
I have been her kind.
I have found the warm caves in the woods,
filled them with skillets, carvings, shelves,
closets, silks, innumerable goods;
fixed the suppers for the worms and the elves:
whining, rearranging the disaligned.
A woman like that is misunderstood.
I have been her kind.
I have ridden in your cart, driver,
waved my nude arms at villages going by,
learning the last bright routes, survivor
where your flames still bite my thigh
and my ribs crack where your wheels wind.
A woman like that is not ashamed to die.
I have been her kind.
—Anne Sexton
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
My "Secret"
Having no luck sleeping tonight, just plain irritated, in more ways than one. This song describes it almost verbatim. My dark secret, I am sleeping with it tonight, and wondering if I can keep it? *Sigh* At least I will get a little satisfaction tonight, with all the writing I am doing with this story, I will post it, just not on this blog. Would not be appropriate I think. Ja ne! And goodnight, or morning, what ever it is.
<3 <3 Oceanlab
Monday, August 15, 2011
American Identity
Every nation has a national identity amongst the people who make up the country’s population. Some share certain values and some could not be more different. America’s population is very diverse culture wise; however there is also a common thread that runs through the majority of Americans that overrides any cultural difference that we all have. Sure America has an impetuous nature at times, but we also have a reverence and respect for our unique cultural diversity, and we draw on this to help strengthen who we are as a country. Sure we cast dirty sidelong glances in the direction of France, but we could not be more proud of the very gift they gave us in the symbol of our freedom in Lady Liberty.
Our forefathers in all their wisdom laid down Christian principles and morals, the core of what makes our nation so great. Yes we may get angry quickly at perceived atrocities, but we are also among the first to respond to disasters around the world. We are very much like young twenty something’s, searching this new found freedom, though while well established, still fresh on our minds as we seek to further our core concepts of who we are. Our parents having raised us well with a solid moral foundation upon which we can build upon.
I would say that despite our cultural differences, we, as Americans, are the same: Stubborn, proud, unapologetic, hard working, forgiving, charitable, fighters, protectors, impetuous, defiant, hopeful, but most importantly we are ‘the people’, more specifically, “we, the people” are Americans, and damn proud of it!
Our forefathers in all their wisdom laid down Christian principles and morals, the core of what makes our nation so great. Yes we may get angry quickly at perceived atrocities, but we are also among the first to respond to disasters around the world. We are very much like young twenty something’s, searching this new found freedom, though while well established, still fresh on our minds as we seek to further our core concepts of who we are. Our parents having raised us well with a solid moral foundation upon which we can build upon.
I would say that despite our cultural differences, we, as Americans, are the same: Stubborn, proud, unapologetic, hard working, forgiving, charitable, fighters, protectors, impetuous, defiant, hopeful, but most importantly we are ‘the people’, more specifically, “we, the people” are Americans, and damn proud of it!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Is it me, or are most men butt faces? I was in a ton of pain yesterday, and my back is completely whacked out and is extremely painful to deal with right now. So hoping to cheer myself up I called my baby, but instead of a nice cheerful conversation, he tried to make me feel guilty for him always copping out of seeing movies with me and my dad. Now, granted he does not make up excuses, or at least I don't think he does, but he does 99.9% of time cop out of it. *rolls her eyes* and he wanted to make me feel guilty for having a bad week and really wanting to spend time with him and my dad and being upset cause he coped out like usual. I fail to see why he thinks that it is ok to tell me that I have no right to "feel" the way I do, and that it is "selfish" of me to do so!? WTH! I never tell him how he should or shouldn't feel. It is not someone else's choice what another feels, so how is he thinks he can choose for me and if I don't go with it I am selfish? GRRRRR! I gotta go finish cleaning, just after I heat my back again.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
By My Side - David Choi - Official Music Video - Wong Fu Productions
I feel so disappointed right now that a crushed can of soda has nothing on me. On to yet another week or drudgery...
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Summer of near insanity!
So yeah, the title dang near sums up the summer I am having. What I was thinking taking 3 express summer classes I may never know. I think I had a black out or something. Trying to get my life organized so that when I head out to KY I can have emotional and mental security. Getting relationships patched up so they can withstand the time apart, as well as mentaly prepping myself so that when I am done with college I can go anywhere my baby wants us to go. I know I will be fine, but I am kinda worried about him. I am not sure how he might handle this time apart, and it has me worried. Not sure what to do other then just trying to figure out a way to reinforce "us" so that there is still an "us" after nearly two years at UK.
Amongst all this I found out almost three weeks ago that I need to change my humming bird lifestyle. Those of you who know me know that I am a serious sugar and sweets addict. Have been all my life, but durring the last six years my lifestyle has become sedentary for the most part, so my sweet addiction needs to change. So HARD!!!!! My doctor is a bit of a nudge as well, and not at all shy, when having heard my idea of a what a daily diet for me is, about giving me a basic dress down. I am not even sure my bf could have done a better job of making me feel amost completly inept when it comes to food... heheeh, "bell peppers and onions?"... inside joke, but still to this day it cracks me up.
Oh well, that was my free ten minutes, and I must get to my next class. One of the first classes that is not completely useless, my health class and today we are going over some exercises, so maybe I can get motivated! ^_^ I was hoping my dad would have some money cause he owes me a bike, and I wanted to start doing tri's again, unfortunetly not gonna happen soon enough to actualy start effectively training, at least not in the state I am physically right now. (I am such a pudger right now not even funny any more and nothing cute about it!) ICK! oh wow! I gotta go! Did not realize the time! Bye!
Amongst all this I found out almost three weeks ago that I need to change my humming bird lifestyle. Those of you who know me know that I am a serious sugar and sweets addict. Have been all my life, but durring the last six years my lifestyle has become sedentary for the most part, so my sweet addiction needs to change. So HARD!!!!! My doctor is a bit of a nudge as well, and not at all shy, when having heard my idea of a what a daily diet for me is, about giving me a basic dress down. I am not even sure my bf could have done a better job of making me feel amost completly inept when it comes to food... heheeh, "bell peppers and onions?"... inside joke, but still to this day it cracks me up.
Oh well, that was my free ten minutes, and I must get to my next class. One of the first classes that is not completely useless, my health class and today we are going over some exercises, so maybe I can get motivated! ^_^ I was hoping my dad would have some money cause he owes me a bike, and I wanted to start doing tri's again, unfortunetly not gonna happen soon enough to actualy start effectively training, at least not in the state I am physically right now. (I am such a pudger right now not even funny any more and nothing cute about it!) ICK! oh wow! I gotta go! Did not realize the time! Bye!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
The coldest winter I have ever known
The organ pours out slow and soothing
Old and rugged hymns
I long to find some comfort
But my sorrow won't give in
This is the coldest winter
In a thousand freezing years
And if I started crying
I could never stop the tears
Time is slowing down
Like a river clogged with mud
People gather round me
Some friends and others blood
The trumpeter starts playing taps
The soldiers fire their guns
The folding of the flag
Makes the tears come in a flood
Not sure if I will ever stop missing you, missing the lack of time we got to spend together, or if I will ever get to the point where I don't mist up thinking of you... But I know at the end of the "day" I shall see you again. Love you grampa Bill. <3 <3 <3
Old and rugged hymns
I long to find some comfort
But my sorrow won't give in
This is the coldest winter
In a thousand freezing years
And if I started crying
I could never stop the tears
Time is slowing down
Like a river clogged with mud
People gather round me
Some friends and others blood
The trumpeter starts playing taps
The soldiers fire their guns
The folding of the flag
Makes the tears come in a flood
Not sure if I will ever stop missing you, missing the lack of time we got to spend together, or if I will ever get to the point where I don't mist up thinking of you... But I know at the end of the "day" I shall see you again. Love you grampa Bill. <3 <3 <3
Monday, July 11, 2011
Good Life
Ok, so that embed did not work, so here is another song that I can identify with... Enjoy!
regina spektor - Fidelity (Video)
Wow do I identify with this song! I am so sorry for not updating you, the six viewers of my blog, on my life. You see I am finishing up the second 6 week summer crash courses at school of which I am taking 3 (count em! 3!) classes. So yeah, super busy, but I promise come fall I shall start posting regularly again! Enjoy this song though in the mean time. Heheh, mean, I crack myself up.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Oh Wow!!
Never have I heard a song that almost verbatum (Sp?)says what I feel about this relationship I have with a certain fellow for over eight years... Very good song.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Wow, just, wow.
I have an awful head cold, but this reached right through the fog and made me pause, and then go, "wow, oh wow."
Thursday, April 21, 2011
An awesome night!
Yes, just like the title said this was an awesome night... My guy came over and helped me make an aaaahhhhh-maaaazing dinner... then we just hung out before he whent home. Follow is a pic of the pork chops, and with that I am off to bed, I am exhausted. Night! ^_^
Monday, April 18, 2011
American History to 1877 Textbook for sale!
Very good condition, comes with plastic "American History" exert. 35.00 USD plus 5.00 USD shipping for the continental US. Contact me for more infor or just buy now! ^_^
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Hungover
And now the sun is rising
Another long walk back home (back home)
There's just so many faces,
But no one I need to know (need to know)
In the dark I can't fight it, I fake til I'm numb
But in the bright light,
I taste you on my tongue
Now the party's over
And everybody's gone
I'm left here with myself and I wonder what went wrong
And now my heart is broken
Like the bottles on the floor
Does it really matter?
Or am I just hung over you?
Ah ah ah, ah ah ah
Or am I just hungover?
Even my dirty laundry
Everything just smells like you (like you)
And now my head is throbbing
Every song is out of tune
Just like you
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/k/kesha/hungover.html ]
In the dark I can't fight it til it disapears
But in the daylight
I taste you in my tears
Now the party's over,
And everybody's gone
I'm left here with myself and I wonder what went wrong
And now my heart is broken
Like the bottles on the floor
Does it really matter?
Or am I just hung over you?
Now I've got myself looking like a mess
Standing alone
Hear at the end try to pretend but no,
I put up my fight
But this is it this time (this time)
Cus I'm here at the end, tryin to pretend
Here at the end, tryin to pretend
Oh, ohhh
And now the party's over,
And everybody's gone
I'm left here with myself and I wonder what went wrong
And now my heart is broken
Like the bottles on the floor
Does it really matter?
Or am I just hung over you?
Ah ah ah, ah ah ah
Or am I just hungover?
Another long walk back home (back home)
There's just so many faces,
But no one I need to know (need to know)
In the dark I can't fight it, I fake til I'm numb
But in the bright light,
I taste you on my tongue
Now the party's over
And everybody's gone
I'm left here with myself and I wonder what went wrong
And now my heart is broken
Like the bottles on the floor
Does it really matter?
Or am I just hung over you?
Ah ah ah, ah ah ah
Or am I just hungover?
Even my dirty laundry
Everything just smells like you (like you)
And now my head is throbbing
Every song is out of tune
Just like you
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/k/kesha/hungover.html ]
In the dark I can't fight it til it disapears
But in the daylight
I taste you in my tears
Now the party's over,
And everybody's gone
I'm left here with myself and I wonder what went wrong
And now my heart is broken
Like the bottles on the floor
Does it really matter?
Or am I just hung over you?
Now I've got myself looking like a mess
Standing alone
Hear at the end try to pretend but no,
I put up my fight
But this is it this time (this time)
Cus I'm here at the end, tryin to pretend
Here at the end, tryin to pretend
Oh, ohhh
And now the party's over,
And everybody's gone
I'm left here with myself and I wonder what went wrong
And now my heart is broken
Like the bottles on the floor
Does it really matter?
Or am I just hung over you?
Ah ah ah, ah ah ah
Or am I just hungover?
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Ke$ha - Blow
I love her sense of humor... I am sorry that I have not been posting lately, but I have been busy, and in a funk, but look this week. I shall have something up, swear it!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Gilmore Girls - Season 6 breakup
The part where they are talking in the car, gets me every time... and the end just crushed me, however I find myself at the same breaking point she did... just needing the foot of commitment from who she thought was her man, and then finding the rug ripped out from beneath her. Watch it to see what I mean, there is talking throughout, not just music.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Unnecessary Panic and Potassium Iodide pills
Is it just me, or does it seem that most Americans are believing all the hype from the "main stream" media? Most scientist who are questioned directly will agree that the chances of any radioactive material making it high enough to the jet stream and then traveling well over 5,500 miles over open ocean to make it to the mainland of the US is "highly unlikely", to quote one. Many of the following states seem to be stocking up on so called "radiation pills". People!!! First off, let me explain what these pills are and what the purpose of them are. These pills are mainly used for cancer patient who are going through some kind of radiation treatment. They are meant to prevent cancer of the thyroid itself by filling it with inactive iodine (as compared to radioactive iodine) so it won't get cancer itself. It has some pretty serious side effects that can go along with taking it. One of which my mother already has naturally and let me tell you it is no picnic. It is known as hyper thyroidism. It does all sorts of weird things to your body, from almost manic mood swings, being overly tired most of the time, extreme weight gain or loss and so on. Other side effects or more mild in manner compared, however I would still rather skip: diarrhea, nauseous, severe allergic reactions, and stomach cramps. Now, I don't want anyone to think that I don't agree with being prepared, because I do. I just don't think people should be panicking to the point we have reached. To top it off, I don't want to hear about the atypical person who decides to take one of these pills because they freaked out because a news "reporter" said (yet again) that the situation in Japan just went "from bad to worse". Oh, if I had a penny for every time I heard that this week. Stop with the fear mongering media!!! Out of all the states that should worry, it would be Hawaii, and even that state it is unlikely to get any radiation, and if they do, it would be less the ten minutes on your cell phone!!! Yes I went there! You get radiation from a dang stone for heaven's sake.
States going crazy | Probability of nuclear fallout |
California | Unlikely |
Oregon | Unlikely |
Washington | Unlikely |
Michigan | Highly Improbable |
Okay Michigan's, what is the problem? Did you all have a sudden uptick in chemo therapy? I mean really! Get a life! There are possibly tens of thousands of people in Japan who have lost their lives! Spend your money more wisely by buying canned goods and what not and ship it to Japan!!! There are people STARVING over there! They are dangerously low on food and water. So if you really feel the need to spend money on useless Iodide pills, then spend the money you would have wasted on them and put it towards food and water for the people who are really in danger! For Pete's sake! Have ya'll just had too much snow or something this year and as a result gotten cabin fever? Come on and use the dang brains that God gave you! Thanks, that is all I have to say right now.
Instead of Iodide pills America, how about a couple of Chill pills? @_@
Monday, March 14, 2011
Shamrock Pie and Corned Beef with potatoes, carrots, celery, and of course cabbage!
I believe it goes without saying that I am officially in the St. Patrick's Day spirit. *grins widely* I have been a wee bit depressed lately (note the sarcastic note there) with the alcoholic house wife invading my personal territory, the bad infection I had, and now Japan's crisis. So what does poor ditzy blonde do when she gets depressed? *Sighs dramatically cause you apparently don't know* Bake!!!! Yes, somewhere in my obviously genetically flawed history, I was taught to bake when depressed or faced with a serious issue that I could not readily solve… (either that or sleep all day, which I have been known to do from time to time). So I decided to make a Shamrock pie, something my grandma would do when I was younger for St. Patrick's Day. She called it clover meringue, but I don't like that name for whatever reason, so I renamed it! ^_^
I then decided since I had a lot of leftover meringue that I gave some of it to my doggies... Yes, they loved it! Point in case:
Before I started that though, I started the corned beef in the crock pot first, then started the pie… As a result I now have a very happy dog! She got a lot of the left over meringue. Yes I took pictures and they will be at the bottom of this post. Before I forget though, I would desperately like to remind people to donate to a charity to help Japan, and if you do not know who to donate to then I suggest you read my previous post from yesterday. They are already suffering economically and the more money we get to them the more this financial pain can be eased, even if we can do nothing for the emotional toll for all the death and loss of loved ones, doing something is better than nothing.
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| Step one, sugar, corn starch, and water |
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| Step two, egg yolks, food coloring and the rest is secret... |
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| The meringue, and then bake before putting in fridge |
I then decided since I had a lot of leftover meringue that I gave some of it to my doggies... Yes, they loved it! Point in case:
Funny little girl... love her so much. Anyways, I will take pics of the dinner and post it maybe in tomorows post. Good night, and God bless! Ja. ^_-
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Distress in Japan
It seems to me a cruel and extreme side of Mother Nature where Japan is concerned. Japan just can't seem to catch a break. First the one two punch with the earthquake now re-listed as a 9.0, followed 13 minutes later by the destructive 23 foot tall tsunami. Now I am hearing about a volcano going off? I mean as if the destruction already inflicted was not enough. Now I hear the government there is trying desperately to get a firm grip on the nuclear facilities that seem to be one by one going into meltdown modes (though of all the governments besides our own, the Japanese have a very firm grip with this technology and if anyone could recover from this nuclear situation, it is the Japanese).
As of today, fears are that the death toll may rise well over 10,000. An untold number of people are now suffering a fourth day without food, water, and electricity. The most severe crisis since WWII is what the Prime Minister of Japan is calling it. This situation just seems to become direr as time moves on from this catastrophic event. One after the other, nuclear reactors seem to be going though partial meltdowns spewing radiation contamination and adding to the already numerous concerns to an already rattled population.
Already there are numerous heartbreaking stories emerging from a crippled north eastern Japan. Stories like a 60 yr old man who was rescued by the Japanese Navy. He was found clinging to what was left of the roof of a house. Upon being rescued he immediately broke down into tears, his wife has still not been found. Another such story of a mother who lost the grip of her daughter's hand as a flood of water invaded the third floor of her home. Her daughter has not yet been found, though she says she hasn't yet given up hope saying, "I saved myself, but I couldn't save my daughter."
This disaster has left Japan in ruin and in need of help. If you would like to make a donation, I would personally recommend the following:
The American Red Cross International Relief Fund is stationed in the affected areas. Text REDCROSS to 90999 from your cell phone to donate $10.00 to the Red Cross. Click here to donate.
The Salvation Army has been in Japan since 1895 and is currently providing emergency assistance to those in need. To contribute, text 'JAPAN' or 'QUAKE' to 80888 to make a $10 donation. Click here to donate.
Global Giving is taking donations that go toward several charities that have sent emergency relief workers to the pacific area. You can go to www.globalgiving.org and click on 'Japan Earthquake' and Tsunami Relief Fund. Choose from an amount of $25, $50 or $75 dollars and click "give now. " Click here to donate.
The International Medical Corps are putting together relief teams that will bring supplies to those most in need. You can text MED to 80888 from any mobile phone to give $10 or go to their website. Click here to donate.
The American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee is sending relief to the affected areas. You can go to www.jdc.org and click on "Donate to JDC's Japan/Pacific Emergency Relief Fund." Click here to donate.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Patience
Plain and simple, the last two days have been very hard... but I think now I am ok. Just realy depressed. I could use a drink right now, and a long good nights sleep.
Friday, February 11, 2011
What... how...?
Remember my hamster on its wheel analogy from yesterday? Well update: I don’t know what happened to it… just few moments ago it freaked the F out and managed to pop the wheel of its suspension poles and rolled itself clean off a very high cliff. So for the moment I am left with partial thoughts that end in a dead solid steel wall. Yeah, you could say that I am mindless at the moment and due to a revelation I had just before said hamster went MIA, I am so shaky that I can barely type.
Given how good it was to write last night and how wonderfully I slept as a result, I am hoping that maybe I could imitate last night’s results… for my sake one could hope… but typing is excruciatingly difficult due to my shaking. >_<
I am having such a hard time with the keys, let alone all the spelling errors because I can’t seem to think straight. My fingers have forgotten where the keys on the board are supposed to be, let alone the fact that my mind is jumbling up letters in words. How is it one can be social on chat site, but not reply or even look at the world’s cutest pic sent via email? Okay, I need to take a shot of something, preferably strong along with a sleeping pill… maybe I can just sleep this off and try again in the morning?
I am gonna either turn all my lights out and sit in the dark listening to Michael Buble (I realy oughta get a cd of his) or watch wedding date a hundred times.... And there is the baying!
Given how good it was to write last night and how wonderfully I slept as a result, I am hoping that maybe I could imitate last night’s results… for my sake one could hope… but typing is excruciatingly difficult due to my shaking. >_<
I am having such a hard time with the keys, let alone all the spelling errors because I can’t seem to think straight. My fingers have forgotten where the keys on the board are supposed to be, let alone the fact that my mind is jumbling up letters in words. How is it one can be social on chat site, but not reply or even look at the world’s cutest pic sent via email? Okay, I need to take a shot of something, preferably strong along with a sleeping pill… maybe I can just sleep this off and try again in the morning?
I am gonna either turn all my lights out and sit in the dark listening to Michael Buble (I realy oughta get a cd of his) or watch wedding date a hundred times.... And there is the baying!
Who do you think you are?
*Note: I am writing this at an odd hour, and I am very tired, do not be suprised if I seriously edit this in the a.m. Also, please note the first song on my playlist, it does mean something*
Nothing is worse to me then being stuck in a circle, like a damn hamster on a wheel (and believe me the hamster in my head is going full tilt). After the last two days and yet another sleepless night, I am beginning to be more restless than this dog I am sitting. It is funny how us females love to torture ourselves with doubt, both internal and external. *Excuse my comma splices, but I am a bit of a consciences stream writer* Yes, us women love to beat ourselves up over other’s mistakes sometimes, and when it comes down to it, this useless ritual of thinking in ever widening, though great at processing a wide amount of information, is time consuming and does nothing but make us feel more and more down on who we are…
Maybe it is me, but maybe men have it right: Problem in the emotion department, run! Avoid subject at all cost! Women, why do we lock ourselves up in a dark corner of our mind until we have exhausted every last detail we have? Is it worth it? I mean let’s face it, the rare and almost mythical creature known as a “gentleman” just does not exist anymore (well, except for the men born pre 1960). They are extinct… or older than our age range.
Between so called “feminism” and our societies “norm” how could they possibly exist? “Feminist” beat them in the head whenever a male tries to be chivalrous, no matter how small the gesture. Then society butts in and tells them via movies, TV shows, music videos, women themselves, and of course porn, that to be a “man” you should not try to control yourself in any way, you are an animal after all, go get as much tail as you want. I mean on the one hand, feminist say women should not be objectified, and then turn around and say that it is ok if a woman wants to be a porn star, but not a beauty queen! I mean honestly!
Oops, I got off topic… that was not what was really bothering me, that was just the bottom of my ever widening circle going on in my head… you see men what I mean? Sometimes males are rational to a fault, so much so that you can miss the bigger picture, however, we see such a large picture that some of the minute, but important and critical, details escape us! I am a firm believer in the fact that God knew what He was doing when he created male and female… we are supposed to balance each other. Like a jigsaw, women put together the outside, and men fill in the necessary blanks in the main part…
However, off topic, again… maybe I am just that much sleep deprived. After some recon that I did yesterday, that dang hamster has been running so fast that it was all I could do this morning not to put salt in my tea, and I came dangerously close! I should never let someone do this to me! Do I disturb him because I am a night owl, and therefore don’t operate on his timeline? Are my weird and very eccentric quirks driving him to wonder how a real girl acts? Or is that the problem itself? That I am a “girl” to him? If that is the case, then why the hell is he with me? If not just a place holder while he plays the board…
I am one of those ppl, I strive to think of how this could appear if I were in the other’s shoes. I am loyal to a fault… and maybe therein lie my problems? Or am I just not a fitness freak? Or maybe I am just not skinny enough, forget being fit or not (one of the girls was not fit, but she was scrawny), or could it be my hair is not the right color, or not curly, or straight enough… I mean WHAT IS IT!?!? But then I catch myself in that vicious circle… so I stop, take a deep breathe, and start it all over again after a few seconds of almost rational thoughts! I am a walking talking contradiction. Maybe that is the problem! Strong, but needy; humble, but greedy; my style is all over, but I am still very selective; I go to the beach wearing nice clothes when I should be wearing stuff that can get sandy and salty, and it never fails to get pointed out to me.
How does a person trust someone who cannot trust you? Is not one of the most obvious signs that someone is doing something wrong? When one automatically thinks you are doing it as well? “If I am doing it, what is to stop them from doing it?” Yes I speak from experience there, thanks to a previous relationship… the one pearl of wisdom my mother pointed out to me at the time. Does not a robber fear they will be stolen from? Yes, constantly. Makes me wonder constantly now that I see it applied here. (The fact it has happened once makes me very aware it could happen again) and maybe it is me… after all it has already happened, it could very well again, only this time I fear the damage it could cause, seeing how deeply my heart seems to be set on this.
Running eight years through your mind is no easy task, and the more I do it, the more I notice little things that I had forgotten about… most of them after the two year mark… seems that is where most of this started, but the hell if I can pinpoint where, or more importantly, WHAT triggered all of it...
HOLY CRAP!!! I guess should stop now while I am ahead… and I might leave a great deal of this in my Word journal and just post a bit of this on Blogger, not that it matters, only Krystal reads this anyways! ^_^
Alright, I am gonna try sleep one more time… maybe with out being kicked….
I need a bigger bed… *walks away from computer grumbling to herself while rubbing the bruise on her back*
Nothing is worse to me then being stuck in a circle, like a damn hamster on a wheel (and believe me the hamster in my head is going full tilt). After the last two days and yet another sleepless night, I am beginning to be more restless than this dog I am sitting. It is funny how us females love to torture ourselves with doubt, both internal and external. *Excuse my comma splices, but I am a bit of a consciences stream writer* Yes, us women love to beat ourselves up over other’s mistakes sometimes, and when it comes down to it, this useless ritual of thinking in ever widening, though great at processing a wide amount of information, is time consuming and does nothing but make us feel more and more down on who we are…
Maybe it is me, but maybe men have it right: Problem in the emotion department, run! Avoid subject at all cost! Women, why do we lock ourselves up in a dark corner of our mind until we have exhausted every last detail we have? Is it worth it? I mean let’s face it, the rare and almost mythical creature known as a “gentleman” just does not exist anymore (well, except for the men born pre 1960). They are extinct… or older than our age range.
Between so called “feminism” and our societies “norm” how could they possibly exist? “Feminist” beat them in the head whenever a male tries to be chivalrous, no matter how small the gesture. Then society butts in and tells them via movies, TV shows, music videos, women themselves, and of course porn, that to be a “man” you should not try to control yourself in any way, you are an animal after all, go get as much tail as you want. I mean on the one hand, feminist say women should not be objectified, and then turn around and say that it is ok if a woman wants to be a porn star, but not a beauty queen! I mean honestly!
Oops, I got off topic… that was not what was really bothering me, that was just the bottom of my ever widening circle going on in my head… you see men what I mean? Sometimes males are rational to a fault, so much so that you can miss the bigger picture, however, we see such a large picture that some of the minute, but important and critical, details escape us! I am a firm believer in the fact that God knew what He was doing when he created male and female… we are supposed to balance each other. Like a jigsaw, women put together the outside, and men fill in the necessary blanks in the main part…
However, off topic, again… maybe I am just that much sleep deprived. After some recon that I did yesterday, that dang hamster has been running so fast that it was all I could do this morning not to put salt in my tea, and I came dangerously close! I should never let someone do this to me! Do I disturb him because I am a night owl, and therefore don’t operate on his timeline? Are my weird and very eccentric quirks driving him to wonder how a real girl acts? Or is that the problem itself? That I am a “girl” to him? If that is the case, then why the hell is he with me? If not just a place holder while he plays the board…
I am one of those ppl, I strive to think of how this could appear if I were in the other’s shoes. I am loyal to a fault… and maybe therein lie my problems? Or am I just not a fitness freak? Or maybe I am just not skinny enough, forget being fit or not (one of the girls was not fit, but she was scrawny), or could it be my hair is not the right color, or not curly, or straight enough… I mean WHAT IS IT!?!? But then I catch myself in that vicious circle… so I stop, take a deep breathe, and start it all over again after a few seconds of almost rational thoughts! I am a walking talking contradiction. Maybe that is the problem! Strong, but needy; humble, but greedy; my style is all over, but I am still very selective; I go to the beach wearing nice clothes when I should be wearing stuff that can get sandy and salty, and it never fails to get pointed out to me.
How does a person trust someone who cannot trust you? Is not one of the most obvious signs that someone is doing something wrong? When one automatically thinks you are doing it as well? “If I am doing it, what is to stop them from doing it?” Yes I speak from experience there, thanks to a previous relationship… the one pearl of wisdom my mother pointed out to me at the time. Does not a robber fear they will be stolen from? Yes, constantly. Makes me wonder constantly now that I see it applied here. (The fact it has happened once makes me very aware it could happen again) and maybe it is me… after all it has already happened, it could very well again, only this time I fear the damage it could cause, seeing how deeply my heart seems to be set on this.
Running eight years through your mind is no easy task, and the more I do it, the more I notice little things that I had forgotten about… most of them after the two year mark… seems that is where most of this started, but the hell if I can pinpoint where, or more importantly, WHAT triggered all of it...
HOLY CRAP!!! I guess should stop now while I am ahead… and I might leave a great deal of this in my Word journal and just post a bit of this on Blogger, not that it matters, only Krystal reads this anyways! ^_^
Alright, I am gonna try sleep one more time… maybe with out being kicked….
I need a bigger bed… *walks away from computer grumbling to herself while rubbing the bruise on her back*